On October 1st, the Facebook movie, The Social Network, will come out. And all indications, thus far, suggest that a lot of money and talent is going into it.
The screenplay was written by Aaron Sorkin (writer of West Wing and A Few Good Men) and Trent Reznor has written the score. The media machine behind this flick, in fact, has been so great that even Facebook rival, MySpace, has been tapped by Sony to market the movie.
As Public Enemy once warned us: “Don’t believe the hype.” Well, here are 5 reasons why you might want to heed that advice:
1. The Plot and Story Arc Will Let Us Down
The problem with The Social Network is that it’s not just inspired by a true story, but it outright based on one. And if there’s anything that so-called “true stories” have shown time and time again, it’s that they get bogged down in facts and history, and fail to fill that void that good movies (and art, in general) fill.
We’ve seen it with Donnie Brasco and Goodfellas and Not Without My Daughter and Boys Don’t Cry. These are all stories that are interesting and compelling, and sometimes win Academy Awards. But let’s face it: about 1/2 to 2/3 of the way in, they get dry and tedious.
I pretty much expect the same out of The Social Network. It’ll be really cool to watch a cocky, co-ed Zuckerberg fly in the face of the Ivy League. But after about 45 minutes of that, it’ll get repetitive, and the plot will get bogged down in technicalities and facts that are too fresh in our recent memory for anyone to take any real (i.e. interesting) liberties with.
2. The Ending Will Disappoint
The difference between and “okay” movie, book, or story, and a “great” one is the ending. Good stories are a dime a dozen. The endings of most movies are just sloppy ways to tie up lose ends.
The ending of The Social Network will probably disappoint if simply for the fact that the story isn’t over yet. In a nutshell, The Social Network will be nothing more than the story of how Facebook was born. An most origin stories are pretty lame, doubly so for ones that are not about comic book heroes.
You see, Facebook is only about 7 years old. And in the grand scheme of business, most start-ups will live or die in the first 5 years. So one could argue that Facebook is only 2 years old. In other words, the story is just beginning.
So if the story is just beginning, what kind of ending could The Social Network really have to offer? How will it satisfy the audience? It is, after all, based on a true story.
3. It’s Going to Over-Hype Zuckerberg
I’ll be the first one to admit: Mark Zuckerberg pulled off something much bigger and cooler than I (or most of us, for that matter) ever will. But let’s face it: as big and important as Facebook seems, it’s going to be a footnote in history at best.
Consider this: The trailer, alone, paints Zuckerberg in a light where he puts the “genius” in “evil genius.” Take that part of slick dialogue in the trailer where some Harvard disciplinary board just read their complaints against Zuckerberg, and his response is “As for the charges, I deserve some recognition from this board.” The board rep replies “I’m sorry,” Zuckerberg says “Yes,” the rep says “I don’t understand,” and Zuckerberg asks “Which part?”
Slick but hardly evil genius material. There’s that, and there’s how the tag line is “You Don’t Get 500 Million Friends Without Making a Few Enemies”.
But what it really comes down to is that technology moves so fast, especially in the world of social networking, that even if Facebook continues to be serious revenue machine for the next two decades (and I doubt that it’ll even have that good of a run), it will cease to be the controversial media darling that it’s been as of recent. By the end of that time Zuckerberg will hardly get a mention.
Just take Microsoft: it still has businesses by the balls, is still making money had over fist, but Bill Gates just doesn’t have the juice that he used to in terms of media focus. He turned his focus to philanthropy, who know maybe we will see the Zuckerberg Foundation.
4. It’s Not Going to Hype Zuckerberg Enough
From the looks of it, The Social Network will also paint Zuckerberg in a light where he puts the “evil” in “evil genius.” As TechCrunch already reported, The Social Network is “based on the Ben Mezrich book, ‘The Accidental Billionaires’, which paints Zuckerberg and his early Facebook team in a less-than-favorable light.”
What does this mean? Well, for starters it means that the movie will give audiences exactly what they want in terms of a story about a guy who’s touched their privacy in places that would make a Catholic priest blush.
As it is, audiences like to see the titans of industry and state torn apart until they’re parts are laid bare at their feet. But when it comes to Zuckerberg, this guy has been poking, prodding, and probing our privacy like an alien abductor. And as much as it’ll be enjoyable to see him painted as an immature, misguided, and/or evil genius, it’ll be a cliche, and scarcely worth the $10-15 it’ll cost to see on the big screen.
Which brings me to my final point…
5. It’ll Disappoint at the Box Office
I have little doubt that The Social Network will have a decent run its open weekend. After all, it’s the story about the conception and birth of something that just about everyone in America, and most of the free world, uses on a daily basis. But after that, I suspect that box office sales will peter out.
For starters, there will be the reviews, and they’ll probably warn movie-goers to wait until it’s out on DVD. And that’s where the real trouble will start: there will probably be something undeniably irresistible about pirating (i.e. illegally downloading) a movie about a guy we all love to hate.
Even though this won’t hit Zuckerberg’s bottom line, I suspect that a higher than usual proportion of movie-goers will be loath to spend another dime on the legacy of a billionaire that we all love to hate, but rely on in some pathetic and slavish way.
The Social Network in Perspective
In 2005, I was working for Dov Charney, Founder and CEO of American Apparel, as part of a team whose job it was to clean up the company’s and Dov’s image. Now anyone who’s actually spent time getting to know Dov can understand how he’s a largely misunderstood guy, so one day, I asked him: “Why don’t we get your biography written?”
Dov responded that I wasn’t the first one to suggest it, and that he’d even been approached by some serious writer. But he wasn’t ready yet, because he wasn’t done. His story wasn’t ready to be told because his story wasn’t over.
This is what I think will plague The Social Network: the story is being told before it’s over. As far as I’m concerned, that’s cheap, an all around a bad call, and will make for poor cinema.
It’s like handing down judgment before all the facts are in. And it’s for that reason I feel perfectly comfortable passing judgment on this flick before it’s been release and before I’ve even seen it.
That being said, I’ll most certainly watch The Social Network. But I’ll probably wait for it to come out on DVD, or even more appropriately stream it from Netflix.

